Who or What Are You Thinking About?

I once listened to a talk by J. Krishnamurthy in which he suggested that one might stop and consider how often they are thinking about themselves. That really struck me, and in the coming days and weeks when I periodically examined my own thoughts I was surprised by how often they revolved around me, what I liked and didn't, what I wanted, what I did or did not do and all the reasons why this or that happened or might happen sometime in the future. It was a seemingly endless narration in my head about me, myself and I, and there didn't seem to be any good reason for it. I wasn't gaining any insight or making important decisions - I was just talking to myself about myself.

So I decided to make a conscious effort to think about someone or something other than myself, but when I did I often thought about something (or someone) else as it related to me. So then I asked myself, "Why am I thinking about anything unless there's a specific reason to do so?"

But there is a distinction to be made here between thoughts and thinking. Thoughts will always arise, but one of the things meditation and other contemplative practices teach us is that we don't need to think about those thoughts. Alan Watts once described thinking as talking to ourselves inside our heads. When we don't do that it's very interesting to see what happens to those thoughts that usually seem so important and true. Many times they just sail by.

As for me, whenever I'm in a less than desirable state there's a good chance that I'm thinking about my thoughts, and that what I'm thinking has something to do with me. I think that's worth noticing.